Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
