I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
