I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
