so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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