Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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