ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
