so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
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I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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