So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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