I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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