so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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