Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
A bitchslap is in order.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
