My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize