How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
