I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
