There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
