I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
