I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
