tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
