Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
