Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize