Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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