i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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