he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize