I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
