Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
