If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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