You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
