as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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