So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
