I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
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We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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