he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
