btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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