I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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