remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need moral support for this bender
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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