I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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