Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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