dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
