She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
