Church boner. Awkwardddd
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
