If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
