Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I smell like Dick and happiness
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
