We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
operation harelip BJ is a go
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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