we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
