I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
