When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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