He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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