I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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