i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize