why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
