Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize