I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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