Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
not ubering you a puppy
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
