But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize