he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
