my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize