We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
