So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
